I did trigonometry on the beach because I wanted to be a tanned gent (tangent). Unfortunately I stayed too long and got sin burnt.
By Cheesecake Bobby
From the show broadcast on 28th May 2011
Barely Legal
Which American company made the small chocolate peanut butter piece most enjoyed by the star of ‘Legally Blonde’ and with which eating utensil does she coose to consume them? Reese With A Spoon By Jeremy Walmsley From the show broadcast on 28th May 2011
I’d Like To Seymour Of This Calibre
What is the correct protocol when entering a room occupied by one of the wives of Henry VIII?
Just amble in (Ann Boleyn)
By Tom Storer from Cheltenham
From the show broadcast on 21st May 2011
Gluton Intolerance
Why did the coeliac disease sufferer eat loads of breads?
Because he was a gluton for punishment.
By Chris and Jane
From the show broadcast on 7th May 2011
Watertight
What did Commander Tom ‘Stinger’ Jordan from Top Gun say to the Englishman when he saw Lewis Collins chasing a food critic travelling on top of Emil Zatopek?
Your Egon’s riding Czechs your Bodie can’t catch.
(Emil Zatopek was a very good Czech runner who, I believe, even when weighed down by the heft of food critic Egon Ronay would still be more than a match for television and film actor Lewis collins whose most famous role was as William Bodie in the hit late 70s and early 80s show The Professionals. Even though food critic Egon Ronay was Hungarian born, he lived the majority of his life in the UK and produced most of his seminal work there. Therefore it would be correct for the American Commander Jordan to refer to both Ronay and Collins as ‘yours’ to the Englishman to whom he is speaking. It’s watertight)
By Andrew Tate from Durham, North Carolina
From the show broadcast on 7th May 2011
Mahatma Poppins
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and with his bad diet he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super-calloused-fragile-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis.
By B.C.
From the show broadcast on 7th May 2011
No More Potter
No more Potter jokes you say?
Hagrid. (Agreed)
By Mike from Sheffield
From the show broadcast on 7th May 2011
Sailor Man
What does Popeye have for breakfast?
Egg egg egg egg egg egg egg…
By Matt Hodson
From the show broadcast on 16th April 2011
